If you worry, you did not pray, if you pray, you did not worry.

Sometimes I feel that praying does not work at all. I pray every day at 3:00 o’clock in the afternoon, and in the middle of the night, but why I am so worry about something that has not happened.

The last two weeks, I was not feeling good at all, especially when I woke up in the morning. There was
something heavy in my heart. My Heart was beating too rapidly. I wanted to let it go, but I did not
know how.

First, I was thinking about my children, so I call them up. Last week my daughter was sick, and I stayed
in her place for one night, just to make sure that she was getting well when I left her. Thank God, she
got better soon. But I was still worry sick, so I called my son, but he was fine. Of course he has his own problem, but talking with him for an hour made him stronger and ready to face and solve his problem.

My husband was busy with his jobs. Good for him…

But, I am still worry, and praying. What’s wrong with me?

And I am talking to myself.

Yes, there are too much uneasy feeling; it’s up and down. Two weeks ago I lost my older brother. It was good for him; he did not suffer too long. But there’s still anger in me, because his wife didn’t treat him well. At the same time, my first book was already printed, ready to be published. But, I am worry. What will it be? Good or bad?

When I write this blog, I know that God is in me, and now I know that I have to forgive my brother’s wife and I also have to forgive to myself for not treating him well either.

For my book, I don’t need to worry at all. It’s already printed. I don’t need to worry what will people think about my book. I don’t need to worry that will be good or bad. At least I have something to give for my children and my husband as a memento and legacy of my life and other people who inspired me.

Suddenly I cry….I don't know why….

Maybe it is tears for my brother, to say good bye forever in this mundane world, we will meet someday
again in God’s presence.

And for the love that God always put in my heart, to forgive, and to forget and not to worry at all.

I always love my day that is given to me, and everyone around me.

Thank God for being in my heart, and I will never stop praying.

PS: Thank you Yongkie Hurd.. for your support to write in English.